- College
- Work
Both of those things are so important to my daily life, one provides the knowledge that I will need in the future to move up in the workforce and my job is the funding that pays the bills, generates a savings, and provides temporary highs. But those things are the things I hate most about my life. In America, they always want you to reach for the sky, but without those things, it seems nearly impossible. I'm not sitting here saying that an education and personal funding is bad, I'm saying if your heart isn't there, how can you honestly be happy? For so many years, I have been faking it, but at this time in my life, I don't want to anymore. I want to be serious about the things that I get enjoyment out of. These for example:
- Art
- Novels
- Screenwriting
- Music
- Dancing
- Fashion design
- Production
- Generally, entrepreneurship
If I were to get serious about those things, I would have something on the side lines from typical life to look to doing, but without those, I honestly think life is not worth living. But along with those things, confidence is also needed, I guess that's where my weight loss issue comes into play. "She's cute for a fat girl" just keeps playing in my mind over and over, why can't I just be cute?! Why can't I stop telling myself that I'm fat either? UGH. I need to self evaluate for the hundredth time. Maybe one day, things will be clear. Wish me luck. XOXO
