In Dr. Laura Schlessinger's "self-help" book, Then Stupid Things Women do to Mess up Their Lives, she discusses daily things that all women do that are potentially harmful to our self-respect. Things such placing all our dreams and admiration in the male species, complaining when things haven't gone our way, and the ultimate excuse of for everything, blaming it on someone else. When we take away the times when guys did us wrong, the amount of people we slept with, and the other feminine qualities of our lives, it's funny how we don't have anything to talk about. I sometimes wonder as I sit around a group of females what their goals are in life, what do they want out of life. Most say a marriage, which is understandable because at a certain age in my life, I want to have a family of my own but is that their and also my only existence? Have I become some walking/talking ovulation waiting for a "great" guy to impregnate me? I defiantly do not want to be only defined as that. But the real problem for me and other girls of my generation is that we have lost sight of what is really important at the end of the day, ourselves. No one can tell us what will make us happy in life besides us. No person can walk in your life and completely change you. Sure, that person may make you happy for a while but soon it will become a competition between you and their wants and desires because you don't have any of your own. In order to change and stop making excuses is to face the truth of the situation: you are being lazy and you are not committing yourself to anything. If we spent so much time doing things instead of analyzing situations tenfold, we would not be complaining about where we are today. And that's one thing about men that is different from women. Men, when they see something they want, go for it. Women, when faced with the same situation, talk it over with her friends or herself before making a move, which may lead to it disappearing. For example, when I loved someone a year ago, I told them that I was not the one for them and constantly always brought up his ex-girlfriend because of my own insecurities about the "relationship". Guess where he went? Back to his ex-girlfriend! (even though they are not together yet again for the same damn reason they broke up the first 3 times, ha ha but anyways) In me telling him that I was not the one, even though I knew in my heart I wanted to be and I loved him, it made him believe that I do not care about him the way it seemed to be and since his ex-girlfriend was pursuing him, why not go back to her since I was not the right one for him. Another example, everyone always tells me I have the tremendous potential to do certain things with my life: an artist, a counselor, and a voice over (don't know why that keeps coming up...), but instead of busting my arse and trying to accomplish the things I love, I procrastinate and why do I procrastinate? Because I fear rejection. I fear the truth of the situation. I fear disapproval. And that's whats holding me and others back. Instead of lying to others or yourself, be truthful. If you can't do a task, you can't do it. If you are afraid, you are afraid. If your work looks like crap, it probably is crap. If he appears to be a loser and trifle, then probably he is. Sure the truth hurts but at least it's not same excuse or a lie to make you or others feel better. It's better to see and realize the truth before it becomes too late and you are stuck in a situation you can't get out of. The truth will go on longer than a lie ever would and who wants to get lied to? Like the truth, life is hard and in order for us to survive, you must go through the pain to get to the pleasure. Life isn't a fairy tale where your dreams and desires fall on your lap. You have to work harder for what you want and the respect that you deserve. This book has definitely opened my eyes to my own flaws and I think it could do the same for you.
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